Taking My Own Back To School Fall Pictures........

Which ones do you like??????????

I'm OK..............

Whew.....didn't know if I was gonna make it through this one......Doctor's say I had a panic attack. This was a first for me and it happenend at work last Thurs. It was terrible, I have never felt anything like it before in my whole life. I couldn't even drive myself to urgent care, I had to call E, who was on the road in his work truck and have him come drive me. Dr gave some ativan and sent me home. Well, sun night, I had another one and insisted on going to ER room. The ER Dr told me the same thing. Am I losing my mind or what? I am on overload at work and wondering what is wrong with me health wise has really been worrying me, but panic attacks? (I have been having stomach/abdominal pain for months now) I guess I worried myself into a panic attack knowing that my dr appt were coming up and I thought something terrible may be wrong. Well since last Thurs, I have been poked and proded numberous time and in numerous places, (thats gross, I know) I have had at least 10 viles of blood drawn for testing and so far everything came back ok. I have had a full blown pelvic exam and ultraound and dr found nothing in my female parts via ultrasound. This Thurs I will have a stomach/abdominal ultrasound and if they don't find anything there, I'll have a scope put down my throat to take some pics and see if there is anything there. YEAH for me, right......As far as my extremely miserable cycles every month, we're gonna start with a simple out patient surgery under general anethesia of course called a D & C. This is scheduled for friday, 10-20. E will taking off work that day to be with me and they do these in Fridays because usual recovery time is just acouple days, so I'll have the weekend. If this doesn't improve my problems, then OB Doc will then try and submit to my insurance to perform what is called a 'lunchbox hysterectomy'. It is a new and very costly procedure that is also an out patient procedure and there's no surgery involved. They will destroy the lining of my uterous and thats it. No more periods for me and goodness knows, we're fine with no more babies. We have enough of of those from kindergarten to college, we're good to go!!! I'm still reading up on this one, trying to find out all the long term effects and stuff, ya know.

So, I'm still alive, and I plan to stay that way for a long while. Halloween is right around the corner and I can't miss our 8th annual Halloween Party. I took last week off and slept most of the week trying to get panic attacks out of my mind and not dwell on things. Plus the ativan helped me sleep too. I am going back to work tomorrow and I am ping to be just fine! I have been praying everyday and yes, sometimes, I even talk to myself. I have to tell myself that I'm gonna be ok, ya know? Call me what you want, it won't bother me. I have to take care of myself now, instead of everyone else..........

VIOLATED......

Gosh, you know that feeling that you see and hear about terrible things happening and at the same time you thank God that is wasn't you. Well it happened to me last Thursday while I was parked at the gym. Here I am, trying to better myself and working out with my sister and during the whole hour and a half that we were inside the gym, someone broke into my van and robbed me blind. Some asshole thieves who cannot take care of themselves in this world the way we do, they have to take our hard working, back busting belongings that we had to save up for before we could even buy them. And the most horrible thing about it is that they will probably never get caught and they will trade my precious belongings for a liitle dope somewhere and not even think twice about it. They got all my personal info as well which meant that I have had to place a watch on all my credit cards and my bank account. I will have to repeat this every three months to keep watch and control of my own identity. As my sis and I were walking out thurs evening (still daylight by the way) she was talking abou thow she did not like to park so far outin the parking lot because it was dangerous in which i was totally agreeing with. We walked her to her van first which was only 3 cars or so away from mine and then I alked on to my van. We noticed a couple of cars and a police officer at the very end of the lot and there was broken glass on the ground and one of the women was sitting on the ground talking on her cell. Man, I thought, poor lady. As I turned through the lot went to grab my cell which I had left in the car to call E and let him know I was on my way, i noticed it was gone. I thought ok, it fell onto the floor or something, then I saw that my work keys were gone from where I put them everyday after work. SHIT..............Ok then I see that my trunk light is on the dash which means my trunk was not shut all the way......Well, I knew that I had not been in the back all day........SON OF A &%#@! I said and I immediately pulled over quickly, shut my car off and got out. I thought what if someone is back there in my car. I circled the car, I did not have my phone to call anyone but found it was clear and drove home crying and feeling violated as heck.................. When I got back into the driver seat I noticed that the DVD players that once were strapped to the back of both seats for the kiddies were also gone......... I continued to drive home and call the police to file a report and figure out what else was missing and make a list of my "report stolen" calls I had ahead of me. Talk about a HUGE MESS that I have been dealing with. Anyhow...I know that all that stuff can be replaced and I thank God that nothing happened to me or anyone else affected by the break ins. I also learned that I won't ever leave any of my personal stuff in my car again.

On another note..... Sun, we went to a swim/BBQ get together with E's work colleagues and it was a lot of fun. It got my mind off of stuff and the kiddies had a blast swimming and playing the games that they had there. It was great! K officially took her life jacket off and YES... she jumped off the diving board and swam to the side and did it again! She is growing up too fast. She is loving Kindergarten and she loves it in the am when I drop them both off at school before going to work. I on the other hand, feel sad and cannot believe what I am doing. Here are some pics from the BBQ on Sun:

Becca's Softball Party & The First Day of School!

Sat night was Becca's end of the summer league softball party at her coaches house. We had an absolute blast! Her coaches house is VERY nice and all I could say when I walked in was WOW.......OMG.....It looks like a house that is just for show and decoration ya know, no one really lives in it.......Totally immaculate and everything including the house was so HUGE and decorated so RICHLY that I almost wanted to take pictures of every room..... (no I did not, don't worry, LOL) You should of seen the master bath, straight from the show Cribs on MTV, I swear! Anyhow, we ended up staying way later than we had expected. E was not feeling well and we did not plan on staying long. But we started having so much fun and dancing and karaoke and stuff we didn't get home til darn near 2am. (the kiddies got to spend 1 night at their mom's before going back to school, so we were kiddieless) It was so funny when Coach G and his wife and team mom D did the awards for the girls..... Their team finished 1st place and all the girls received GOLD medals and then Coach G announced and handed the "special" awards for the season. After he was done with all the others, he called up Becca and one of her BF's for years now, Destiny....They are the 2 oldest girls on the team and this is their last year to play for this league cause the are both over 18. So they went up and coach awarded them with 'old people' canes from the party store. It was so freakin funny, I was literally crying with laughter, no one saw that coming......It was so great, I really needed a night like this one!!!!!!!

BACK TO SCHOOL~ K'S FIRST DAY OF KINDERGARTEN,

B'S FIRST DAY OF COLLEGE, V STARTED 11TH, AND J STARTED 3RD....

B and V left too early for me this am so I did not get pic of them before they left....(they did that on purpose) But here are the kiddies, J and K while getting ready and at school.....K was so excited and she did a great job her first day for her first day of Kinder........... and we met J's teacher today too and all went well!!!!!

wrap up- E went to the dr's today, dr wanted to do x-rays and he came home pnemonia in his left lung.........and anti- biotics....... and watch out......his boss is gonna actually have a couple days off to recover..... how nice, huh??????????

anyways....hope all ya'll had a good weekend and are off to a great week!

Favorite Foto Friday.....

~You'd Better Watch Out J~

~if you played along, let me know so I can check out your FFF~

Visit With Friends and Doheny Beach.......

Early last week, the kiddies and I went to visit some close family friends of ours. I needed to get away and my friend D, cut and highlighted my hair for me. YEP....I actually did something for MYSELF for a change...... Believe it or not.... I had a great time socializing and catching up on old times! The kiddies had fun swimming with the kids the kids there and they got to spend some time at V.B.S. (Vacation Bible School) while we were there and they had alot of fun! K brought home corn that she got to plant herself in her class and J brought home some Bible books and lessons that he learned about.

Our camping trip to Doheny Beach was so much fun....

Most of the campsites there are close together but we had really cool neighbors and the kids made friends right away! When we finally made it into our tents at night, the sound of the crashing waves is what we heard while falling asleep. That by itself was enough for me! It was awesome!!!!! My friend, Y met us up there too for some good times! We got there early Friday and set up our tent and stuff and then headed down to the beach for some waves and fun in the sand. The sandy beach was about 100 feet from our tent. Very close and very neat! The kiddies had an absolute blast the whole weekend. We all had a blast this weekend. E got pretty blitzed Sat night and he was dancing around the campfire with the flashight. I haven't laughed as hard or as much as I did like this for a while. Me and my friend Y were having a great time wathing him and singing to the music! The kiddies were full of smores and sound asleep in the tent. We played poker throughout the weekend and even J is learning how to play now. Starting him early, I guess.....

All in all, I could not of asked for more fun! We will definetly be planning on reserving our own spot on the beach for next time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tomorrow I have to go down and fill out a bunch of paperwork for daycare for the upcoming year and This Friday, we have Kindergarten orientation and K and I will meet her Kindergarten teacher and stuff. J will start 3rd grade and V will start the 11th grade and my Becca will start her first day of COLLEGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Favorite Foto Friday......

HEY.....I'm back.........

Well, seems like I've been gone forever..... I'm back home now for at least a day then we're off to the beach for a weekend camping trip. Much needed at that, I must say. Although it is a lot of work to go camping, we will have FUN, I'm sure! We got a deal from our neighbor, (gotta LOVE thy neighbors) cause they planned something else and gave us their reservations so it really wasn't planned by us we're gonna do it anyways! E got Fri and Mon off so I said LETS GO!!!!!!

the pageant was so much fun.... becca did sooo good for it being her first pageant. she looked absoulutey beautiful on stage in her formal wear! she answered her question with no stuttering or forgetfulness and accomplished her pivots and turns like a professional model! i was a very proud mom watching and helping her prepare in between competitions..... it was an extremely busy weekend... sat morn she had her personal interviews with the judges in ontario at the sheraton and sun morn we started our morn with rehearsal and then a lunch break and then back for dressing and make-up and hair touch-ups at 2:30pm to prepare for the pageant at 4pm. she did not win anything this time and that is totally ok.... she is not upset at all and then i asked her if she would do it again she said, "probably not mom, i think i'll stick to softball"

~here is a pic of when she did her casual wear routine on stage~

~walking to center stage with the MC~

~standing on stage in pose~

well crap......., i'm having trouble posting more pics right now so i will try again in the AM..... must be a blogger thing going on~ hope everyone had a good weekend and a great start to their week!

Wordless Wednesday.....

weekend updates.......

Thursday night E took K to see GREASE at our city college auditorium. Heather went to with Emmy and a couple of her neighbors. K loved it and she got to spend the night after with Emmy at Aunt Heathers! I took this pic of them before they left! She was sssooo excited!
J spent most of his weekend with his BF Donovan. All day Sat and most of Sun they hung out and went swimming at Don's grammas. I (WE, E and I) ) did a whole lot of nothing ALONG WITH some cleaning and laundry this weekend. It was nice to not have a party to host for a change! I really needed a weekend off! Sun we watched the boys while Heather and Steve went an Angels game with Steves daughter and one of her friends. I went to their place while they napped and then when they woke up, I brought them came back to our house. They had fun playing with Kaylee and with the dogs! Zach and Karl really had fun together!!!!

Next weekend is the pageant and I will be BUSY, BUSY, BUSY!

HOPE EVERYONE HAD A GREAT WEEKEND.....

Favorite Foto Friday....

TOO MUCH FUN!!!

HOPE ALL HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEKEND!

Weekend updates.......

Fri night, E and I went to have some time to ourselves at Franks Bar & Grill, had some beers and dinner and then we went over to Judi's ( a friend from work) and we did not get home until 2:30 am. It was nice to have some adult time but I am really paying for it now.....

Sat morn, we got all of David's stuff moved into storage and his mom and dad are now on their way back home. I really hope that we stay in touch with them and are able to see them again.... and just so you all know, we have adopted David's dog, Karl. He is a purebred Cocker Spaniel and he has adapted well here in the last few days. He and Lexi are getting to know one another and are becoming friends!

J & K's b-day pool party went great on Sat. (talk about another SUPER busy weekend) This year we combined the two cause we have had so much more stuff going on and finances are tough, I'm sure ya'll know what I mean. (Thanks Papa & Nana for letting us have a pool party at yur house! ) We had BBQ hot dogs and hot links, nachos, chili & cheese, tortilla wraps, fruit trays and cake and ice cream cones! Nana bought the huge super slide you see in these pics and let me tell you, IT WAS A HIT!!!!!! The kids had a ball on it!

Everyone had a blast and the party went on into the night with us adults sitting outside by the pool hanging out and stuff.

The kiddies got a lot of nice gifts and we thak you all for coming and for the awesome birthday gifts this year!!!!!

Today, Sunday, Becca and I had training class for the upcoming pageant. It went great and she has a bit of practicing to do because this is her first one but I know she will do fine! She (we) now have bit more sponsor $ to come up with and we need to finalize her outfits for the competition and we'll be set to go! It's getting more and more exciting as we go! For all that have had sponsored so far, We thank you very much!, We could not have done it without you!

Favorite Foto Friday....(& then some)

This pic is from Becca's game Tuesday night.....This Tues night game was their FIRST loss of the summer season. Thats ok ladies, you'll gettem' next time and they did... Tonight, (thurs) they won with a score of 7 to 0..... YEAH! Becca pitched the whole game, she is getting better and better every season! It is a bit blurry but it's hard to get GOOD action shots, ya know?

Another thing I DO NEED to mention is TGIF!!!!!! This week has been extremely long and tiresome. We had a little memorial for David last night here at our house with his parents and his 'California Family', (us) We had lasagna, salad, garlic bread and jello pudding. His parents will have a ceremony once they get back home to NJ. They leave on Sun and Sat morning the guys are gonna get all David's furniture and stuff from his house moved into storage for them and we can deal with that at a later date. His Mom and Dad are ready to get back home and family there are missing them and I'm sure wanting to see them too. They will truly be missed and I hope we stay in touch. I went through a bunch of pics and scanned them all and Heather helped me put songs on it and I played it for them and everyone else that was here last night and they really enjoyed it. I only found 55 pics for this dvd, but i know I have more, and i chose 2 out of the 3 songs for the dvd as some of Davids favorites from our days. The Love Shack, B-52's, I Just Can't get Enough, Depeche Mode and then for the last song we did When I Get Where I'm Going, Brad Paisley & Dolly Parton. We burned a couple extra for them to take back home with them for family and they know that if they need more, we can make and mail them some more.

Yesterday and the day before, I spent attempting to explain to an almost 5 year old what it means when you die....... Yeah.... We have been around and around with questions and more questions and with the best answers I feel appropriate to be given. Once she (K) finaly realized that David had passed due to a severe illness, she wanted to know where HE went, what happened to his BODY.....(ok, i've had enough) K has only known that her Papa (my dad) passed from being very sick and this was two years ago and and I wasn't able at that time to explain to her the whole "why do people die" thing. so now, she wants to know EVERYTHING.... She does love going to Church and she knows about God and Jesus and believes in Heaven, (along with them thousands of questions that go along with it) So yesterday afternoon before our guests arrived, I reminded her that once darkness came, we would go out front and find the first star we saw and that would be our special star of David an she was happily agreed. (due to our current weather, we ONLY found ONE star in the night sky) THANK YOU LORD, BLESSED ARE OUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS , IN JESUS NAME WE PRAY, AMEN.

Heather kept the kiddies for me today...thanks much.. cause, YEP, I am a stress basket. Today their day care had a field trip to WILD RIVERS, more that an hour away from home and a huge WATER park at that.....I know, I know, call me what you want. I thought about letting J go for about a day, but that lasted for about a minute..... (he does know how to swim, he's 8, but I just could not allow t.....) and Kaylee, NOPE , sorry, I just was not comfortable with her going AT ALL. She does not know how to swim yet and I'm sorry, but if I'm gonna let my youngsters participate in a water filled day, I want to be the responsible party. I'm sure I'll have many agreements in this scenerio......

(thx heather for keeping my babies in safe for the day!)


This Sat is also J & K's pool party and then Sun Becca has training class for the pageant which I will attend with her... (omgoodness, Do I ever get a break?)
I DESPERATELY NEED TO WASH A FULL LOAD OF WHITES AND DRY THEM, THEN FIND TIME TO FOLD THEM UP AND PUT THEM AWAY. I couldn't find socks for the kiddies tonight for the mornin'.......UUUGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wordless Wednesday.......

this weeks updates......

AWFUL WEIRD WEATHER....... This is what our skies looked like yesterday afternoon. This whole weekends weather has been treacherous. At about 110 with thunder, lightning and even some rain, it has been terrible. We have had major power outages throughout our city with power sporadically going on and off all day..... A little scary if you ask me.... I even turned our thermostat up to 80 instead of 78 cause it just cannot cool down. I will be crying when I get our electric bill, I know but gosh, we would be frying and having heat stroke without it right now.... When Heathers power went out, she packed up her fam and went down to our local mall to try and find some comfort but said it was hot inside the mall too. This has been the worst summer heat that I can remember in a long time now.....

Friday night, we had a little surprise party for Becca for her 18th Birthday.....I went in to her work last week and asked her scheduling manager to please give her a shift on Friday to be off at 6pm and he did!!! It wasn't a huge party as we have a lot going on right now and well, you know how finances go. She just had a BIG grad party and now with the pageant, I didn't want to break everyone in my family including E and I..... We had pizza, salad and cake and she was totally surprised too. She actually was startled when she came through the door we all screamed and yelled surprise!!! It was great and yes, as you can see she and I even had a little cake fight......

Last Sunday, we went for Becca's pageant interview and application process. She got the phone call on Monday...She is in! She has been accepted to compete in her FIRST Miss Teen Pageant...Whew....Keep in mind that I am not a pageant mom, I'm a softball mom so we will definetly be learning together.... She is very excited and now we are on the road to getting sponsors before her training class on July 30. The pageant is Aug 13 so wish her (us) luck!!!!

These are a few pics I took before we left

David passed away this past Monday. It was really sad. I think he was ready to go be with his brother who was waiting for him, I'm sure. His parents broke down and all I could do was try to comfort them. I stood behind them hugging them as best I could while they watched their baby boy die. My mom and I took turns comforting them as we all cried and sobbed. Susan, (my moms best friend) was also there and she too cried and tried to comfort everyone as best she could. It was very sad and brought back many memories for me from when my dad passed 2 years ago. We will be having a memorial for David for his mom and dad at my house before they take their sons ashes back to New Jersey with them and prepare to have a funeral with their family there. Please keep them and their families in your thoughts and prayers during this very difficult time....
Here are some pics from years ago of David and me and David with my girls.....

~Me and David~

~Becca and David~

~David and Vanessa taking a nap~

Favorite Foto Friday...

This is a picture of my nephew at the park last year...... I love this one of him!!!!

Hope you all have a great weekend, I have another busy one as usual this time of year!

Wordless Wednesday...

WHEW....IT IS HOT!

Talk about some heat here in So Ca. It is 6:45pm and still 103 outside and tomorrow's high is 107. I went to the gym this am and that is it, been inside ever since. Went outside to get the mail and OMG, it was horrible. E went to the Angel game with Steve today. Are they crazy or what? I am taking Heather out tonight for her birthday. My sis is gonna go with us too. We are gonna have FUN!!!! We haven't been out in a while so we'll have a blast, I'm sure! Tomorrow Becca and I have a pageant meeting to go to. Someone (I haven't figured out who yet) referred her to be consulted to be in a preliminary pageant and we meet with the lady tomorrow at a fancy hotel. We'll go and see what it's all about, she is excited about it and so am I.

Hope everyone is having a good weekend so far and hopefully staying as cool as possible!

Wordless Wednesday......

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEATHER!!!

Happy Birthday To You,

Happy Birthday To You,

Happy Birthday Dear Heather,

Happy Birthday To You!

I have known Heather now for over 10 years and we have become extremely close throughout these years. Let me tell you, she is one incredible person. I have called her my sister in law for almost 8 years now, ever since her brother and I have been togethwe (even though we're not officially married yet)

We have shared many experiences together and she even lived with us for a while. She has always been there for me and I am here for her. When she lost her son Evan, I didn't know if she was going to be able to pull through, but with all of our support and care she has made it this far and one thing that I know helped her get through thus far was knowing that she had Emmalee, Evans little sister and her baby girl and the fact that her daughter needed her mommy was eminent. I know that you don't ever really get over losing a child especially when it's your own. Like they say, you're parents are supposed to die before their children. This is to be a Happy Day for her but at the same time she has so many memories of this month that she has a lot of down time and sadness. Evan passed away in July and his funeral was on her birthday so how happy could you be on your birthday when you think back to the same day years ago when you buried your son. I know that I could'nt be.

She has been very blessed in the past couple years of her life with her beautiful twin boys and in finding the love of her life Steve. I am so happy for her that she finally has some happiness in her life. She is such an incredible mother to those boys and to Emmy. She has gone through a lot with the boys being so premature and having to deal with so many illnesses with them brought back so many memories for her. I am glad that I was able to be there when they were born and through their incredible journey to where they are at today.

So as we celebrate and wish Heather a very happy birthday, she sits and remembers something very sad and she will for the rest of her life. I just want to say that I love you Heather and I am always a phone call away and just around the corner from ya! I am proud to say what a wonderful mommy you are to you children and we will never forget Evan, he will always be in our hearts and our thoughts.

So now that I know you are crying again, I wish you a Happy Birthday (old lady) LOL and I will be taking you out this next weekend, so plan on it girl!

Love Always, TiTi