Sunday, November 12, 2006

a more personal update.......... and more.........

let me tell ya'll a bit more about my situation, past and present. i know i list my profile as being a full time mom and aunt of 4, 2 teens of my own (B & V) and 2 that i am currently the legal guardian of. (J & K) well, most of that is true but V's dad and I have had 50/50 custody of her forever now and this last week it has come to a stop and a HUGE mess of a dispute. my V is currently near failing half of her classes this first quarter of her junior year and i cannot take it any longer. she has basically been 'living' at her dad's and weekends here with me unless she on break from school and during the summer. it's not like she wasn't here alot as her dad and stepmom's house is only 2 streets over from our house so she has always been close and able to go back and forth easily. Although her bedroom and the majority of her belongings 'were' at her dads house, this is where she starved to be. here 'at home' with her mom and sister. i finally took control and told her dad (who at first did not agree with me) that 'we' needed to give her the chance to turn her grades around (along with her attitude and other issues) and if this is what it's going to take then so be it. i reminded him and stepmom of our 50/50 custody (i just wanted to make it clear, not argue) and after 2 long nights of talking and meeting with them both, 'he' finally agreed to trying it. i know deep down inside (wherever my 'ms. hardass' feelings lay) this is what she really ached for. and trust me when i say that my level of guilt has been overflowing for years. we really don't have a room here to just let her have of her own right now, but she gets along well with J & K and for now she can hang with them until we figure out what we're gonna do. we do have the family room that was once a bedroom that we can work with so i'm not worried about it. she has been coming straight home from school AND.......... 'DOING HER HOMEWORK' AND EVEN 'DOING DISHES AND STUFF'. i know that she has become lazy and has the attitude of 'i don't care anymore so why try', but i can already see a difference and it's only been a week. i feel like as her mother, i owe her at least this much. i mean, i have had 2 children for over 4 years now here with me that aren't even my own and i'm sorry if her dad feels bad and is sad, but what else can i do. my own kids need me too, i am their mother and i'm sorry that i was very young when i had both my kids and things weren't right all the time, but things change and people change and i we can only move forward in our lives instead of dwell on the past.

whew.......ok well, lets get on it now i've got dinner to prepare........

here are K & J's fall pics from school (this is K's first kindergarten picture and J's 3rd grade picture)



also- today was K's Thanksgiving feast in her classroom. I went and served my duty and the "classroom volunteer". we had turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, corn, squash, a bunch of pies and different stations set up like: make a necklace or hackey sack, a cranberry tasting station and then the kids put on their pilgrim and/or indian outfits they made in the class and sang us songs! it was really cute. i didn't get a lot of actual pictures cause i was video-taping too. here are a few from today!

4 comments:

Heather/SHTEZQ said...

I see you switched to beta so how do you like it. I love the pics of kaylee and of their school. Things will work out with V. just hang in there we all have faith in her.

Michelle said...

Things will all work out and hopefully be better for it! Love that spikey hair in the school photos! This year is the first year we didnt have Lifetouch Pictures! Im kinda anxious to see how they will turnout!

Debby said...

i hope everything works out for you all,.,.,..,.love the pics,.,.,..How are you doing I know you were feeling pretty bad there for awhile is all ok?
have a great weekend

Shionge said...

Thanks for sharing and I know dealing with teens are really tricky but over time, I've become great pals with my daughter and I'm sure you too.

Wishing you well and great week ahead.